Дата публикации: 2017-09-04 20:15
Watching sports, playing video games, reading novels and comics, watching cartoons and anime etc are things I do but most of them are just time wasters. I could probably only name less than a handful from each that I truly care about.
The only reason I brought it up that was is that, for me, it *was* necessary. The talk therapy helped with my anxiety somewhat, but I didn t really have the standard depressed ways of thinking I was pretty happy with my life other than the fact that I was feeling so emotionally numb. It mainly seemed to be a brain chemistry thing. I m not sure if I could have gotten out of that numbness without chemical help.
If/when I graduate, it will simply be well, why didn t you graduate with an extra tassel? or with honors? or etc etc etc. If I get a partner it will always be well, why did you settle for this one? why didn t you hold out for what you really wanted? guess you re just not good enough for what you really want just try not to fuck it up since that s the only thing you re good at get a job well.. all jobs will make you miserable, this one isn t any worse than any other.. just try not to fuck it up or we will have to go through all that mess all over again
I know exactly what I will and will not actually do in my life, and frankly anything that involves me working hard or changing are things I m not willing to do.
Observational fact: 9 out of the last 65 people I approached rejected me.
Negative feeling: Because of that, I can assume 9 out of 65 people will reject me.
I guess it s not so much check this hot shit out but that I ve always been a very insular and introverted person that any outward showing off of a potential positive trait feels like I m screaming HEY, EVERYONE, CHECK THIS OUT. It also seems like the afformentioned rich/celeb/whatever guys don t have to call attention to themselves because all that stuff calls attention to them anyways. Guess that s why I focus in on it so much.
I d prefer to go to fewer things to be honest, because I really need to be writing right now rather than fulfilling social obligations and next academic year I know I ll be hit with lots and lots of social obligations. But oh well. Going to things means meeting people. You are not going to get a date if you don t ever meet anyone else. (Note: I did not include in that list the things I do that are more context tailored to me, like the German class I attend on Saturdays, or that I like to game and I just met a brand new gamer the other night while playing Fiasco).
I find if you choose not to pursue something actively, because you value something else more, that reframes the choice as something positive and it is much easier to accept and come to terms with. ( I choose not to go to graduate school because I do not believe in ever having debt and I will not compromise that value )
5 approaches a day does sound like a lot, unless you re going to a bar every night. Keep in mind the places and situations in which you might be approaching these women. Don t be creepy.
Oookay, so I could go to grad school, if I go $55,555 in debt. People could date, if they go plastic surgery and completely changed their personalities. (Going to extremes on that last example for argument point.) Are statements still negative if they say I can t do X until Y if Y is a very extreme change?